{"id":118052,"date":"2023-08-26T19:50:04","date_gmt":"2023-08-26T19:50:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/?p=118052"},"modified":"2023-08-26T19:50:04","modified_gmt":"2023-08-26T19:50:04","slug":"ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/world-news\/ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth\/","title":{"rendered":"Ask Amy: Cousin debates disclosing brutal truth"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Amy:<\/strong> My younger cousin, \u201cThomas,\u201d recently moved close enough to make visits between us possible.<\/p>\n

Thomas is married to a lovely woman. They\u2019ve extended an invitation to me, my husband, and adult children, to come to their new place for dinner.<\/p>\n

This would be lovely, except that his father, who was married to my mother\u2019s sister, sexually molested me and my sister when we were young.<\/p>\n

I have no desire to be anywhere near this creepy uncle.<\/p>\n

I never let him near my own children, unsupervised, when they were young, and they have no relationship with him.<\/p>\n

My mother and her sister are both long-deceased, and I have no idea if they knew what was going on when my sister or I would babysit for Thomas and sleep at the house overnight.<\/p>\n

My dad mentioned knowing about this before he died. I am sad that he didn\u2019t confront his brother-in-law and protect his own daughters.<\/p>\n

How do I beg off visiting my cousin without opening up this can of worms?<\/p>\n

They have no children, so at least that\u2019s not something I need to be vigilant about.<\/p>\n

I could invite him and his wife to my place, but they\u2019re understandably eager for us to see their new home.<\/p>\n

But I am so NOT eager to see the creepy uncle, though he is now elderly and feeble.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to lose the connection with my cousin, but I don’t have any good reasons\/excuses without being brutally honest, which I’m hoping to not have to be in this case.<\/p>\n

Your wisdom is much appreciated.<\/p>\n

— Weary and Wary<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Weary and Wary:<\/strong> I\u2019m so sorry this happened to you and your sister, and that you didn\u2019t have the support and protection of family members.<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t mention if this creepy uncle of yours lives in \u201cThomas\u2019\u201d household, or if he would be present if you visited.<\/p>\n

I see your overall dilemma as a question of whether you should tell — or keep silent \u2014 about this aspect of your life.<\/p>\n

You frame delivering the truth as being \u201cbrutally honest.\u201d But I wonder if you could approach this with less brutality and more compassion — both toward yourself and also your cousin, who may have had some awareness of this, or perhaps been a victim, himself.<\/p>\n

A therapist could help you to weigh these options.<\/p>\n

If you do decide to tell, you could start by saying, \u201cI\u2019m really sorry to have to tell you this. I\u2019m very fond of you and want to continue to have a close relationship. This is heartbreaking for me, and I know it will be hard for you, but I need to tell you the truth about what happened to me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Dear Amy:<\/strong> I have a long-time friend. Whenever we get together, I enjoy myself.<\/p>\n

The problem is that she is never on time.<\/p>\n

I am not talking about being late by five minutes, but anywhere from a half-hour to 45 minutes late.<\/p>\n

She always has excuses, but these excuses have gotten old.<\/p>\n

I have tried many times to talk to her about this issue, and nothing I say seems to make a difference.<\/p>\n

This past Sunday she was already 20 minutes late when she called to say that she was going to be at least another 30 minutes late.<\/p>\n

I got so mad that I told her to forget it because I was going to go into the restaurant and eat by myself.<\/p>\n

Now she is refusing to talk to me.<\/p>\n

How do I deal with this problem?<\/p>\n

— On Time<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear On Time:<\/strong> You\u2019ve already dealt with this problem in a logical and consequential way. Good for you.<\/p>\n

Dear Amy:<\/strong> Your question from \u201cCaring for Canines\u201d was from a wife who felt stuck taking care of the dogs on weekends when her husband was bird-watching.<\/p>\n

I was quite surprised by your suggestion that her husband should \u201ccompensate you for the cost he would pay an outside source.\u201d<\/p>\n

That assumes that (1) they have totally separate finances (my husband and I of 40 years do not) and (2) that their financial situation is such that they interact as \u201cfinancial strangers.\u201d<\/p>\n

Beyond finances, the idea that one would compensate a spouse suggests a very slim intimacy.<\/p>\n

— Shocked<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Shocked:<\/strong> I don\u2019t assume that this dual-income couple has separate finances, but one spouse compensating the other for an extra imposition is, in my opinion, a somewhat playful way to recognize the value of her willingness to stay home and care for the dogs.<\/p>\n

(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter, In The Know, to get entertainment news sent straight to your inbox.<\/em><\/p>\n

Source: Read Full Article<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Amy: My younger cousin, \u201cThomas,\u201d recently moved close enough to make visits between us possible. Thomas is married to<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nAsk Amy: Cousin debates disclosing brutal truth - uklevitrasupport.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/world-news\/ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ask Amy: Cousin debates disclosing brutal truth - uklevitrasupport.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dear Amy: My younger cousin, \u201cThomas,\u201d recently moved close enough to make visits between us possible. Thomas is married to\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/world-news\/ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"uklevitrasupport.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-08-26T19:50:04+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"mediabest\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"mediabest\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/world-news\/ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/world-news\/ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth\/\",\"name\":\"Ask Amy: Cousin debates disclosing brutal truth - uklevitrasupport.com\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2023-08-26T19:50:04+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-08-26T19:50:04+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/#\/schema\/person\/0f97729ba4f6c2af46dd5d5a27032cc9\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/world-news\/ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/world-news\/ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/world-news\/ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"World News\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/category\/world-news\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"Ask Amy: Cousin debates disclosing brutal truth\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/\",\"name\":\"uklevitrasupport.com\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/#\/schema\/person\/0f97729ba4f6c2af46dd5d5a27032cc9\",\"name\":\"mediabest\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a7b02be8288a0edbb9764901ae6050dc?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a7b02be8288a0edbb9764901ae6050dc?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"mediabest\"}}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Ask Amy: Cousin debates disclosing brutal truth - uklevitrasupport.com","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/world-news\/ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Ask Amy: Cousin debates disclosing brutal truth - uklevitrasupport.com","og_description":"Dear Amy: My younger cousin, \u201cThomas,\u201d recently moved close enough to make visits between us possible. Thomas is married to","og_url":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/world-news\/ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth\/","og_site_name":"uklevitrasupport.com","article_published_time":"2023-08-26T19:50:04+00:00","author":"mediabest","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"mediabest","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/world-news\/ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth\/","url":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/world-news\/ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth\/","name":"Ask Amy: Cousin debates disclosing brutal truth - uklevitrasupport.com","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2023-08-26T19:50:04+00:00","dateModified":"2023-08-26T19:50:04+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/#\/schema\/person\/0f97729ba4f6c2af46dd5d5a27032cc9"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/world-news\/ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/world-news\/ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/world-news\/ask-amy-cousin-debates-disclosing-brutal-truth\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"World News","item":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/category\/world-news\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Ask Amy: Cousin debates disclosing brutal truth"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/","name":"uklevitrasupport.com","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/#\/schema\/person\/0f97729ba4f6c2af46dd5d5a27032cc9","name":"mediabest","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a7b02be8288a0edbb9764901ae6050dc?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a7b02be8288a0edbb9764901ae6050dc?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"mediabest"}}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/118052"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=118052"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/118052\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":118053,"href":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/118052\/revisions\/118053"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=118052"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=118052"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uklevitrasupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=118052"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}